It's good.

It's good to be getting out in the fresh air.
... in the sunshine
... experiencing warmth
... as busy neighbours tending their yards
... and young ones run around the park

It's great to be getting out in the garden,
... bearing witness to Spring's emerging glory
... in the dirt
... as flowers blossom
... and new ones take root

It's grand to be waking up early again
... getting things done
... beyond the bare necessities
... finding comfort in work
... making plans
... making plans happen

Let go a little.

I realised the other night that I only have a week and a half of holidays left. I love holidays and the opportunity to immerse myself in a lot of “me” time. I also welcome the chance to do things without having to rush around and without having school preparation hanging over me. In the past I’ve tended to do a number of things that make me feel – dare I say – like my life is worthwhile. I really like to live life to the full and make the most of my free time.

For example, after holidays two years ago I was rapt to be able to say that I had been to Sydney for a week and done some beautiful bushwalks. I had done a lot of exercise and felt great. Or, there was the annual holiday in years gone by where I caught up with my friend in the country and came away feeling truly rejuvenated each and every time. In fact, I used to find visiting her was like going on a wonderful spiritual retreat. Of course, there have been many holidays where I have read memorable books, cleaned the house from top to bottom (almost!) or done some craft …

When I realised the other night that the holidays would soon be over, I felt that I was just getting into it and I worried that I had not  achieved much. This got me to thinking that perhaps I still need to work on developing a greater appreciation of the simple and simply embrace what is.

When I was young I often did well at school. I grew up feeling that my academic achievements made me worthwhile. When I struggled with life as an adult, organising to do an Italian short course or challenging myself to go for a walk each day of the holidays motivated me and took my mind off being alone and feeling worthless.

I’m not sure if this is a social anxiety trait or just a “me” trait, but I tend to hold on to what was brilliant in the past e.g. that Italian course, that Sydney holiday, and keep it as the benchmark for every other holiday.

I think it's time once again to let go a little and appreciate where I am right now. In other words, my simple holiday holds as much value as any other holiday. Last year I hurt my back and I thought I had a good reason for staying home so much. Nevertheless, I need to let go of  expectations whether I've got a sore back or not.

I hold on very tightly when something great happens, and similarly when something difficult happens. I need to work on tempering my responses. I remember my second year of teaching was dream-like, amazing, unforgettable. In subsequent years that second year became my benchmark against which all my teaching was measured.  Not only have I thought that way about

work but also with many other things in my life.

This holiday is not Sydney 2014. It’s January, 2016! Realistically, I had two wonderful days in South Australia. I enjoyed a lovely long walk along the beach. And I finally got to ride my new bike. You know, with a little time to reflect, this holiday is full of much that is good. There is much to celebrate: big and small!

Sometimes, it just takes a little time to reflect and a change of perspective to appreciate what is happening. I need to remind myself that accomplishments are not the only means to achieving a worthwhile life.  I hope I can remember to be aware of holding onto past experiences which I set in concrete as the barometer for today’s experiences, at the expense of being open to what the present holds.

The week that was

Again we've been fortunate to have lots of hot, sunny weather, which is actually unseasonal for this time of year. My spirit feels uplifted when I wake to sun and warmth. After months of wearing woollens and layers it's been good to go to the cupboard and take out clothes that flow and that are light and colourful. Needless to say, it's been a good week.
The garden has been a key part of our lives here. This morning we picked lettuce and snow peas for my mum. I got a big kick out of that. Mr S is still working on building up the vegie garden. It's one step at a time depending on what resources are available. 

Out the front, Spring continues to produce surprise pops of colour. The neighbours do not attend to their garden. What blooms is what was planted in years past and behold this pink treasure lining their front fence. 

Work is good though there are new classes and new students so we are still settling. 
Daylight savings started last week so it has been a little easier to get up early. I have been trying to list a few, quick jobs for before and after school. This week I managed to hang out some washing, water the garden and do a 20 minute tidy-up. I also managed to prepare lunch one day.
We went for a walk the other evening around the lake. I haven't been in that direction for a few months so I was delighted to see ducklings and cygnets and a pelican. I've noticed that pelican seems to be there each year around this time. I do my running along the creek path or around the sports oval. There have been a number of snake sightings around water in our community so each time I go out on foot I cast my eye ahead and listen for rustling in the grass. 

Today I want to boil some eggs for my lunch this week. I'm determined to take lunch from home twice this week. Salad Monday, egg sandwiches Tuesday and possibly cheese sandwiches Wednesday. I got very specific and made sure all the ingredients were on the shopping list. 

Happy Sunday everybody!

A Simple Celebration

I haven’t blogged for a while. In the last few weeks we’ve had 5.30am starts, holiday sleep-ins and now we’re looking at a possible 3.30am start each day if all goes well on the job front this week for Mr S.

My duties at school have changed again and I find myself working with a different group of young people. This also means a new timetable. Last term my schedule was “light” on Thursday mornings so I treated myself to a chai latte before work each week. At the moment I’m still trying to see where I can squeeze it into my timetable.

On top of all that I was busy preparing for a milestone birthday.  

Originally I had really wanted to mark the occasion by going away for the weekend. Parties are not my thing so I didn’t see why that would change now. But then a friend commented that parties can provide what are often rare opportunities for people to come together. I thought about this and decided that it would be lovely to have friends and family gathering together here in our home.

I wanted to keep things fairly simple. If you read about the invitations you’ll know that I was also looking forward to the chance to get creative. I had a loose theme of tea party vintage and hoped to bring about a warm, cosy atmosphere.

My list of guests was around 50 and my SA mind imagined unrealistically how grand it all might be – even though I wanted it all to be simple!  As the day grew closer, the guestlist dwindled to 30ish. For a brief moment I was disappointed and I found I had to remind myself why I was doing the party and what I hoped to achieve.

How I kept it simple:

·        I invited my nieces over for lunch and then we set about making some bunting. I had envisaged nicely sewn triangular bunting but then I returned to reality. It was not easy to hang our paper hearts but keeping calm meant I still worked out a way to display it.

·        We made most of the food. We made finger-sized foods such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, scones and pizza slices. We had peanut butter balls and Mum made a sponge cake for the birthday cake.

·        We had material napkins. I used what I already had and borrowed the rest from Mum.

·        The “fancy” tablecloths were from Mum. The cloth on the main table was the one my mum got from her own mum for her engagement. It was really lovely to be able to put out family heirloom pieces.

·        I was so fortunate to have daphne and camellias in bloom. A friend cut the flowers and decorated the rooms. The rooms tend to be dull brown but the pop of colour from the flowers transformed the feel of the whole area.

·        Mr S knew I liked flowers. In the morning when I got up there was a lovely arrangement in the teapot made up of flowers from our garden.

·        Even though it was a tea party I had on offer coffee and hot chocolate as well as soft drinks.

·        I did spend a little extra on paper plates that were made from recycled pulp (?). I had the wonderful idea of keeping the plates and using them in the garden to block out weeds or as compost. In any case, I was preoccupied that evening and all plates ended up in the bin.

I had fun preparing the party. The best part was the buzz throughout the night. Our life here is sweet but very quiet. Mr S said he couldn’t believe that our home could be like that. I must say my mind was going in a hundred directions as everyone arrived and I realised that I hadn’t whipped the cream and the sausage rolls were not ready. I also had my mind on a few people who didn’t know anyone and were a bit shy. Some good friends kept reminding me that it was OK and I didn’t have to worry about them…. And gradually I accepted this. It truly was a lovely evening and it delighted my heart to see our home filled with laughter and chatter.

Need to create! Housework can wait!

Need to create...can't wait...don't hesitate....

I've been busy the last few months trying to focus on what needs to be done, instead of getting caught up in what I enjoy doing. I haven't done any craft for a long time but I've felt the need to create. I've been missing it. I really believe in making time for the soul but I've been  waiting for a free moment.

Something was telling me I needed to get back to it, whether I had time or not. I know my soul feels nourished after time spent doing what I love so I could justify choosing it even when there were many other things to do. I was also encouraged after reading organisingqueen.com who was challenging readers to make time to do something they love.

Last Friday night I began. My goal had been to make gift tags for some small, thank-you gifts for those who helped me out when my car wasn't working. I wanted to use up what was already in the craft box and it had to be easy to do in one sitting.

On Thursday night - in a reckless moment of time-wasting on Pinterest- I was inspired to do an Easter vignette.  It was clearly a sign that my expressive side was needing attention. Or perhaps just another indication of my wonderful procrastination skills. 

Tags or bunny? 

My main goal was to paint a bunny to frame for Easter. As I painted, there was no doubt in my mind that it was really soothing creating something beautiful from the gentle brushstrokes on the crisp, clean page. It was peaceful and therapeutic. I felt rested. There was focus as I found myself being in the moment, lost in the swirl of the soft, pastel colours. 

While the bunny silhouette dried, I decided to get on with the gift tags and leave the housework for the next day. I rummaged around for pretty paper and offcuts, and used the hanging loops I've been snipping off clothes for ribbon. I cut and glued, then threaded the ribbon through a hole at the top of the tag. The most difficult part was shaping the cardboard to look like a gift tag.

The next day I bought some eggs and two ceramic birds from the el cheapo shop. Back at home, I grabbed a few minutes of my cleaning time to arrange the Easter display in the lounge room. I didn't have any green material but came across a bright and cheery, green scarf when I was putting away my clothes (I did make time for some housework!!).

I had a wonderful time reconnecting with my creative side. A few days later I still feel good about it and I'm keen to get back home and experience some more domestic bliss, which is the opposite of how I had been feeling the weeks before. The experience has cemented even further how important I think it is to listen to your soul. I feel nourished and energised. 

I hope you have some time this week to do something you love.

Travelling the pot-holed road to happiness: this week

country cemetery

Travelling the pot-holed road to happiness is how I used to view my journey with social anxiety and my seemingly endless quest to be free of the ever-present angst. I feel I've moved beyond that way of experiencing life but still find "the pot-holed road" a good way to describe life's unplanned ups and downs that are forever popping into our lives. I think the analogy is especially relevant for me because I'm constantly trying to plan out my life  in order to bring about a happy, productive state. 

Life has its own way of reminding me that it's really about celebrating the here and now and appreciating the pot-holes, as much as the highlights, along the way. This has been another week which has challenged me to put the list aside and embrace life as it is.

lovely centrepiece

My aunty died last week and we had the funeral yesterday. It was a lovely, country funeral and gathering. I got to catch up and talk at length to cousins I don't see so often, and I saw many faces from my childhood days when we used to visit my aunty's farm. Those faces brought back a lot of happy memories. My aunty was a good person who was a talented homemaker and community worker. She did a lot of  work behind the scenes: church cleaning, making cakes and baby booties for fundraisers but never expected recognition for it, rather she recognised the goodness in the doing of the work.

My car has been playing up. It cuts out as I drive along. Fortunately, each time it's happened, I've been able to get over safely to the side of the road without causing danger to anyone. It happened on Monday morning, on the way to school. So I decided to catch public transport until it's fixed (or until I make the decision that this car is really not worth fixing and I better get a new car). 

Going on public transport has taken up more time and energy than anticipated. I've come home tired and I get less work done before and after school. Twice I took the wrong bus and wasted time retracing my steps and getting back on the right bus. And, yes, I did learn to be more careful when boarding the bus. 

Again, life throws up the unexpected and shows me that it is wonderful and full of much in which to delight - whether I plan it or not. 

One of this week's unplanned delights happened as I travelled to work on the bus. A younger gentleman, a passenger, tapped me on the shoulder and asked "Are you Ms R? And you taught at XYZ School?" I immediately recognised as him as one of my ex-students.

Now, this is bound to happen when you live and work in the same area, or even state, but Vincent was my student at a school, thousands of miles away, twenty years ago. He was a student in one of my most memorable classes and I always thought how marvellous it would be to meet some of my ex-students from that time. Of course, it never happened, so twenty years on I was not only surprised, but absolutely delighted to see him. What was even more delightful was seeing that he was a such a charming gentleman, who only the day before had been chatting to the older man on the bus- just being friendly.  

And it all happened because I had to travel on the bus....because my car is causing such inconvenience...

not in the city now

Large family gatherings can be overwhelming and tiresome for me. My aunty's funeral was a lovely tribute to her and I thoroughly enjoyed watching everyone come together in celebration of her life. I did take a back seat in the hall but I was happy talking to people in the back stalls and comfortable to watch from afar. I've found going to school on the bus to be very calming and I've enjoyed saying hello to a few people I know in the community. That could not happen travelling in my car in the traffic.

This week was challenging but memorable in a beautiful way.

Gratitude Part 1

Sleepy summer Pittwater, NSW

I'm needing a little boost today. It's holiday time which is when I usually find a comfortable momentum as I get into the gentle pace of domestic living. 
These holidays it's been different because Mr S is here. Now, that's been good. Last year he was living in the next state so that meant we could only see each other every couple of months. However, Mr S left his job and lifestyle over there to be with me here and he has yet to find work. We've been checking out jobs every day for the last two months and we've now extended the search to country areas (which means that he would be living away from home). As I sit down to search again it's hard to approach it without feeling down.
One of the key requirements of many jobs here is that you have your own car. Mr S doesn't. He's prepared to ride his bike but they don't accept that. There's no regard for the fact that he has been riding his bike to cold-call places for work. There's no regard for the fact that he travelled on foot to work for the last four years, two years of which required him to walk at 3 every morning.  If you haven't got a car you're crossed off the list. Mr S figures that there is no point in him getting a car and paying for driving lessons while he has no income. He's very proud and I need to respect that.
But he's a fantastic worker and someone one day soon is going to be very glad he's on their team...
Meanwhile I need a boost and one of the best ways I know to do that is to focus on what's been good in the last few days.
This is what I have come up with

• The front room is slowly getting sorted and I never thought it would happen so quickly.
• I did housework this week! It's been a while since I've had time to do a proper clean instead of a quick tidy-up.
• We've been eating zucchini from our own garden. There seem to be one or two to pick each week which is perfect timing.
• The grapes are ripening. This could be the first year I actually get to eat some, though I think they're probably a wine-making variety. I'm  not even sure how I will know when they are ready.
• Mr S had an interview in the country the other day, in central Victoria. We stopped at a beautiful, sleepy town that had a very old feel about it. We had time for a stroll up and down either side of its one street. It was so peaceful there.
• I'm slowly getting somewhere with the running. It's been a slow journey. It's taken a while and I'm still a couple of weeks off my goal. BUT, I'm almost there.
• I've had time to indulge in my passion for dream house programs on cable TV, and let me say that these are better than chocolate cake cf. "You Live In What" and "Escape to the Country".
• I have a "word" for the year and I've printed out my goals for the year. I've organised my own version of a household folder  that sits nicely in the newly-organised office.
• I had a beautiful walk the other night with Mr S. around the lake near our home. It's nice to be able to get out and enjoy the summer evenings.
• I think there's something to be said for "lulls" in life. I don't think life is meant to be smiling faces every second of the day. I'm a bit of an idealist so I need to be careful of aiming high and believing that life is only good when great things are happening.  With this in mind, I'm grateful for the space to realise this and to be able to challenge myself to embrace what is, as is, now.

Would you believe that I feel better? The weather is still miserable outside, considering it's summer, but changing my focus for a few minutes has helped  me think about something different. It's put me in the mood to be productive. It's now time to clean out a cupboard, clean the bathroom and go for a run. Time to put on some music and go get started.

Goals for 2015: Be healthy and happy!

My overriding goal for 2015, as I approach a milestone birthday, is to be healthy and happy, with particular emphasis on healthy.

As I age - yes, I am still young, but I can definitely notice my body changing in many ways - I want to make this a priority. It's easy for me to forget about drinking water or going for a run when work or the internet take over, yet for me to be truly healthy now and in the future, the exercise needs to be regular and happening NOW.

Being happy is just as important but I feel there is so  much in my life which is good and that is something which I can more easily work on at any time and any place. Being happy is a broad term and I suppose I really use it to mean wellbeing of spirit and mind, rather than wearing a smile on your face every moment of your day.

So to be healthy this year I want to commit  to

• running three times a week
• buying a "good" bike and going for weekly bike rides
• drinking more water every day

To be happy  I aim to do what I can do to enhance my social wellbeing (with SA that's something which I often avoid, tending to put my energies into personal pursuits), enjoy my house and garden and continue to work on keeping life simple and meaningful.

Social and personal wellbeing goals:

• listen attentively, focus on the speaker (not myself), be present, talk less
• make an effort to invite friends over or catch up with friends once a month, be active

Enjoying  house and garden

•  hang pictures around house
•  make two more, small fairy gardens
•  one new recipe a month
•  one additional cleaning job a week
• commit to planned routine time e.g. Friday nights bills and planning, a load of washing midweek
• spend time in the garden at least once a week

Keeping life simple and meaningful ( in addition to all of the above goals)

• take time to reflect and express gratitude on a weekly basis
• at the end of the year prepare and celebrate a simple, intentional Christmas
• watch pennies more closely, chip away at the mortgage
• sew; possibly try some bunting or a table runner
• planned computer time rather than using it as a procrastination tool
• blog twice a week

There are many goals but I've got a whole year to work towards achieving them. I tried to implement quite a number of them last year so in 2015 I just need to commit to them. I endeavour to live a life that is people-friendly and earth-friendly, as well as being simple and mindful, so such values need also to underlie what I hope to accomplish this year.

Let's see how it goes for 2015. I've highlighted those goals which need to stay on top and which will take priority even when life gets too busy. It's holiday time at the moment so it's the perfect time for making a start. No excuses!!