Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 February 2015

On being frugal in 2015



(My computer has gone "kaput" so no recent photos but I found some oldies. Enjoy.)

Well, my friends, 2015 is the year I incorporate frugality into my vocabulary. Don't get me wrong. I have always been relatively cautious with my spending, but the word "frugal" is one I have never wanted to adopt. 
Growing up we had little to no money for spending. Back then, it wasn't so much about being frugal. It was a matter of not spending because there was no money to spend. One had to be frugal to manage the pennies each week.

I think because I have social anxiety, asserting my needs and wants has been something I was never able to do. In many ways, I really didn't know what I wanted, let alone know how to impose that on someone else. When I was younger, there is no way I would have asked my mum for the latest pair of jeans or some cool top or a neat line of stationery. When I first started to work in a permanent position on a fixed income, I literally didn't know how to spend. I would constantly think of what might happen if I overspent and didn't have any money left. Again, social anxiety at work!
I had to learn to spend. I had to learn to enjoy my money. And eventually I did. 
But this was not about being frugal. This was about not knowing how to be with money, even though in the course of growing up and being fearful of overspending, I actually learnt many useful ways of saving money.

I think I have been averse to "frugality" because it often seems to be about putting money above people or money above the quality of a product or experience. Of course, different people have different priorities. 
For me, I want nourishing food over cheap, processed foodstuffs. I want a long-lasting garment which can be worn and enjoyed over a $3 bargain which was made by whom? where? under what conditions? and of what quality? 
For so many years I found it hard to connect with people and neither did I eat a wide range of food when younger. So as I got older, I made it a priority to accept invitations to eat with friends and colleagues, even though I might not each as much as them at a restaurant and we would be sharing the bill. A chance to (learn to) be with people was what counted.

Fast-froward to 2015. 
My partner is very frugal. He wants to finish off all the food in the fridge and not throw anything out. Every penny is important to him. I want to respect what is important in his life and I want to support his endeavours. So this year, 2015, I have increased the repayments of the mortgage. I've realised that if I practise some of Mr S's money-wise habits this is something we can manage, not forgetting the fact I love setting myself a challenge. 
I'm working on the philosophy of every penny counts. A lot of good money habits also resonate with my goal to live simply and make choices that are earth-friendly and people-friendly. In addition to keeping a budget, spending wisely and living simply, here are some of the ways I hope to save a little:

  • think twice before grabbing a cinnamon roll or snack from the bakery
  • use the wood heater for heating when winter comes, once a week, and sometimes use candles rather than electric light 
  • return library books on time (which I did yesterday, knowing this was now part of the challenge - to avoid the fines which I always get)
  • turn off the power switches when not in use
  • turn off the TV when I'm not actually watching it (consider one TV-free day a week)
  • use my phone to alert me to due dates so that bills are paid on time and no extra payments incurred.
  • lunch at school gobbles up  my money....try to take food from home at least three times a week
I expect that by putting these things into practise it will actually make me think twice about all spending. So, 2015, here comes Ms Congeniality Frugality!! 



Friday, 26 September 2014

What are we really saying no to ?



A colleague shared his dream with me the other day. He would do this dream in a few years when he had time and was free from his current stresses. He couldn’t tell people about his dream for fear they would belittle him.

I don’t know how many years of my life have passed by with me keeping everything and anything hush-hush. I once told a man on a date that I liked Abba music. He turned his nose up. Mental note to self: Don’t mention that to people. What a fool I am to throw that into the conversation!

In fear of what others would think, there was so much I wouldn’t do, so much I wouldn’t say. It meant that by protecting myself I was keeping myself neutralised, moderated.  Not genuine. In fact, not me.
In revealing his dream to me, this is what I discovered about my colleague:

·         He was a man with passion. He had dreams.

·         He had a richness to him that I had never really seen. At work, and even when we went out for coffee, it was work obligations, work obligations, housework obligations.

·         He inspired me. I had been dreaming about blogging the very day he shared his dream with me. The excitement of that conversation spurred me on to pursue my own dream.

Think about this. Imagine what might happen if you dared to mention your dream, in simple terms, to someone else.

·         It might cheer you up talking about something you like.

·         You could have fun pursuing your dream. You might enjoy planning and executing your dream.

·         You might be affirmed by some of the people you share with. Someone might ask questions when they catch up with you.  How’s the painting going?

·         You could meet another person who shares a similar interest.

·         The joy you get from following this dream could alleviate some of the other stresses in your life.

·         Someone might scoff at your idea. Someone might laugh at you.
 

In fairness to him and others there are, of course, many reasons why we don’t reveal our true selves to others. However, by not revealing a little of our true selves what are we really saying no to? Are we simply saying no to fear of someone’s scorn or are we saying no to a chance to grow and enjoy this life we’ve been made for?