Taking time to reflect

My holidays are coming to an end and I'm glad to say I found a couple of hours to reflect. I have to admit sometimes I overplan!! So in the second week I reminded myself to let go a little, which meant planning less and enjoying more, allowing imperfection. And it helped a lot.

The second Tuesday of the holidays I got to stay at home.  I tidied up the house first thing that morning and then gave myself "time out" to stop and reflect a while. I knew if I left it to later in the day it might not happen so I made it a priority to do it before lunch.

I had already decided what I wanted to focus on. One of my goals this year - in fact, for many years - is to listen well. When I was younger I did this really well, probably because I was usually too anxious to speak! Anyway, nowadays I often find myself speaking over people. Sometimes I forget I am doing it while at other times I find it hard to stop. I had planned to use reflection time each week to focus on this sort of thing but it hasn't been happening. 

My aim on Tuesday morning was to brainstorm my thoughts on listening and draw out one aspect which I could display as a reminder each day. As I started to brainstorm, I felt compelled to note all that was good rather than thinking about listening. There was much that morning that was beautiful in my immediate surroundings. It was a warm, sunshiny day and Mr S and I had been doing some work in the garden. So I jotted some of those thoughts on paper. I was surprised my mind went that way when clearly the time was meant for reflecting on listening. I'm glad I allowed myself to be open to any random thoughts. In the end,  I still managed to come away with a few ideas for a small poster on listening.

There's a little girl who sits on top of a hill at some distance from the rest of the world. She contemplates life as she sits on that hill.  She often appears in my doodling and, as you can see, she made an appearance on Tuesday.

I remember reading a few years ago how much easier it is to be creative when you remove expectations ("Vein of Gold" by Julia Cameron ). Expectations to be the best. Expectations to impress. I'm no artist but I often procrastinate because I think too much about achieving a particular outcome. Really, it's important that I just take time to create and express my ideas. The final result is not so important and it helped to keep that in mind  the other morning.

 It was great to be able to take time out this week to think about things. It did take more than half an hour but there was certainly a pay-off as I felt nourished and motivated to move along with the rest of the day.  I think it also helped me to set a rhythm for this week: some time for working, some for the family, a little for friends, some for me, some for relaxing, and much to be enjoyed.

Time Alone

A winter's day on Mt Macedon

This morning I had my chai latte. I sat in the car for ten minutes and just relaxed.
I relished those  few moments in the car park, while the shops were still empty and before I faced a stampede impending stampede of high school students.
I realised that I haven't had that time alone for a while. And I miss it. I need it. It's an essential part of my lifeblood.
I was so happy to get out in the garden on Sunday. I felt rejuvenated as I hacked away at the rose bushes in the full sunshine. It was very liberating after being cooped up inside for the last few months. It was, for me, time alone.
Mr S and I have a relatively quiet life at home, but evenso, I've learned over the years that I need complete time alone to refuel and replenish. Gardening on Sunday was just that. When I craft it's just that. I thought running might be that sort of time but when I pound the footpaths of my local neighbourhood I need every ounce of energy just to take the next step. There's no surplus energy for contemplating the meaning of life.
I had friends over for a lovely afternoon tea on Saturday afternoon. However, at the end of it all, I was ready for complete time alone.
Time alone helps me to handle life.  I remember being in the toilet when I was nine or ten years old and realising that all my good ideas happened at that time. A little weird, I know. It is understandable when I look back. In my talkative family there was not always space for an introvert to search deep and explore her innermost thoughts aloud.
I'm glad I know now that my introversion is an important part of who I am. It helps me to know why I can feel at odds with everyday life even when things are "OK".
I am currently working with a new class level and that means extra work. I don't like having my evenings and weekends taken up with lesson plans and corrections. It crowds my personal time and means there is less of a chance to have meaningful "me" time.

Keeping warm on a winter's day, spending time with friends.

I'm grateful for my chai this morning. I'm looking forward to more sunshine and more complete time alone!  Now that the sun is shining a little more around these parts, I will hopefully find it easier to get more of the "me" time.