Happy Easter

Hooray! Holidays are here and I am ever so grateful for them. I lament the burden of extra work on weekends and in the evenings but I guess this is the payoff.
I hope to do a lot of things around the house and in the garden these holidays. I haven't been doing much exercise  lately so I really want to get back to that. 

Meanwhile...
Around home, it looks like Mr S has caught the festive decorating bug. This is his handiwork:

Weatherwise, we had a short springlike spell of weather. The mornings are cool now that autumn is here so any warmth and sunshine are precious. It was quite a surprise to uncover yet one more bunch of grapes hidden amongst the vine. The grapes were small but full of flavour and incredibly sweet. 

Another welcome surprise was the rejuvenation of a fuschia I bought a while ago. Mr S also had a hand in this. I give up when a plant seems dead but he tends to it and in its own time it comes back to life.

I had a lovely afternoon tea at Overnewton Castle farewelling two colleagues who are retiring. Another very close friend of mine is preparing to retire next year.  It's got me thinking about what retirement might look like for me. 
Sorry, on a negative note, but I thought the price of the afternoon tea was exorbitant. The food was good and there was plenty of it. The setting was lovely, too: the building was over 150 years old which is rather unique in this part of the world. But still not worth the price. 

Hope you have a happy Easter if you are celebrating. Enjoy the break. 

(Here in Australia it's a four-day break.)

Living Simply on Sundays

I’ve been trying hard to do a new recipe each week since these days Mr S tends to do most of the cooking and I want to  keep my  “skills” up to scratch.  Last Monday I tried a dried fruit slice. There was far too much fruit in the slice even though I had followed the instructions.

Mr S has got a vegie garden up and running but there’s still much to do. We could only do so much. We don’t have a ute and we were not willing to pay $40+ to have sleepers delivered 4 kilometres down the road, but fortunately for us my brother is coming over today to help us out. I planted 8 broccoli plants a few weeks ago but there are only three left. Mr S is having more luck with spring onions, carrots, peas, spinach and lettuce, planted in the bed above.

In a roundabout way I’m trying “live simply” at work as I declutter my many folders. I keep hundreds of worksheets. Many are filed, some are not. I finally had some time this week to tidy my desk but I decided to approach it a little differently. In the past I would keep everything. My idea now is to keep only one copy of each file, with a view to reducing as much of the paper as possible, working towards having a copy of most files on the computer. Even though it means throwing away lots of paper, I have to admit I can’t always find things because I have way too much.

Wow! Holidays are good. We had lovely weather today so I suggested we go for a walk around Newport Lakes and visit the Native Nursery. The lakes and parkland have been reclaimed from an old quarry. It was very pleasant until Mr S saw a snake and I quickly took a detour. Later on we saw a lizard trying to blend in with its surroundings. Mr S does not like snakes either so I think it will be a while before we head back there again.

Often my weekends are taken up with housework and schoolwork. I couldn’t help thinking how nice it is to be able to get out and enjoy life. Now that spring is here I hope we can do more of this: relaxing, getting out of the house, enjoying the local area, and doing it all simply. No cost or little cost (just an icecream today). No stress (except when there’s a sign of a snake). Easy on us, easy on the environment.

 Enjoy your Sunday!

Lately

I'm ready to get back into the swing of things after feeling a little under the weather over the last couple of weeks. It's nice to feel the energy of possibility again after needing to put everything on pause. I've been easing my way back into busyness though I always feel the tendency to want to run around and catch up on everything I had put on hold. Somehow or other, life goes on, regardless of what I have and haven't done. 

   I managed to go for a walk around the neighbourhood so it was good to get out into the fresh air. I really enjoyed working with Mr S these last couple of weeks. Our schedules mean that we often do housework at very different times but lately our "free" time has overlapped. It's been really nice to see how easy it can be to get the house clean and comfortable when there are two pairs of hands.

   I noticed lately I haven't been keeping a list of what I need to do so that might be top of my "to do" list tonight. It feels like "Take Two" with my goals but I'm ready to prepare for the week and make the most of it. I think having breakfast before I go to work will need to be my priority this week. 
   I had a lovely lunch with a good friend this afternoon. She took the risk of inviting another friend over and I'm so glad she did. I'm not sure whether it's an introvert thing or a social anxiety thing but I noticed we can sometimes get almost territorial about our time with a friend, hoping no one else comes in on it and spoils our special time. I think it's because we treasure the opportunity to connect meaningfully and know that such opportunities are extremely rare. 
    Friend G had invited Ms C to our afternoon gathering and what a delight it was. She was a lovely person. Sweet, mature, intelligent, engaging.  When Friend G confided that Ms C has only been living in this state for the last four years and has never experienced such loneliness in her life, I felt humbled. I was so glad we had been open to including her rather than limiting ourselves. 
   It also made me think about my goal to invite others over to our house once a month. For one, it reminded me how important it is to reach out to others and put our own needs aside for a while. However, it also reminded me that I have yet to actually invite anyone over and how lovely it would be if we did that.

Living Simply Out and About

I've been enjoying the term holidays. It's nice to have a change of pace with enough time to talk to friends, go for leisurely walks and simply take it easy. 
I caught up with old college friends on my friend's farm. Good, homecooked food, wonderful company, hills and mountain ranges.
We stopped off at the Great Western Seppelts Winery. Lots of sun and, though I don't drink wine, the history of the place interested me greatly. 

In the middle of nowhere, you never know what you might see!

I've spent a bit of time at a friend's house close to where Mr S works, so I get to see him every day.

Mr S's brother is over for a visit so we've been doing sightseeing. I've only ever paid short visits to Daylesford and Hepburn Springs but this time I got to spend a few days up there. So much: cottages, historic buildings, bushland, relaxation, the lake. I bought two beautiful "reused" tables for our home, drank mineral water fresh from the spring and I discovered a cafe-though expensive- which combines the heavenly ambience of a homely library and a cosy lounge. Divine. Even if it doesn't sell chai lattes.

There was also time to catch up with family and join in the annual Easter egg hunt.

We've kept living simply with the occasional treat here and there. We brought food from home that was already in the cupboard rather than eating out at restaurants. We lit warm fires at night using firewood from the property and picked pears off the tree.  Going for walks costs nothing. Long, endless talks with friends is priceless. I did lash out and buy a couple of small, beautiful tables which we needed for our lounge area. I saved up money for some home accessories last year that was never spent so I "transferred" the funds from there to finance it.

I think I'm not farm girl material but I love being close to nature: one toe in the bush and one foot in a cottage in a small town sounds like perfection to me. I love the character of country towns. I'm grateful to my friend for opening up her home. I'm already thinking about the next time I can get up there. 
We were going to do some weeding for her but her warning not to poke around woodpiles, lest we waken the snakes, has ensured we stick to the paths when walking in the bush and kept us at a safe distance from her garden!

On being frugal in 2015

(My computer has gone "kaput" so no recent photos but I found some oldies. Enjoy.)

Well, my friends, 2015 is the year I incorporate frugality into my vocabulary. Don't get me wrong. I have always been relatively cautious with my spending, but the word "frugal" is one I have never wanted to adopt. 
Growing up we had little to no money for spending. Back then, it wasn't so much about being frugal. It was a matter of not spending because there was no money to spend. One had to be frugal to manage the pennies each week.

I think because I have social anxiety, asserting my needs and wants has been something I was never able to do. In many ways, I really didn't know what I wanted, let alone know how to impose that on someone else. When I was younger, there is no way I would have asked my mum for the latest pair of jeans or some cool top or a neat line of stationery. When I first started to work in a permanent position on a fixed income, I literally didn't know how to spend. I would constantly think of what might happen if I overspent and didn't have any money left. Again, social anxiety at work!
I had to learn to spend. I had to learn to enjoy my money. And eventually I did. 
But this was not about being frugal. This was about not knowing how to be with money, even though in the course of growing up and being fearful of overspending, I actually learnt many useful ways of saving money.

I think I have been averse to "frugality" because it often seems to be about putting money above people or money above the quality of a product or experience. Of course, different people have different priorities. 
For me, I want nourishing food over cheap, processed foodstuffs. I want a long-lasting garment which can be worn and enjoyed over a $3 bargain which was made by whom? where? under what conditions? and of what quality? 
For so many years I found it hard to connect with people and neither did I eat a wide range of food when younger. So as I got older, I made it a priority to accept invitations to eat with friends and colleagues, even though I might not each as much as them at a restaurant and we would be sharing the bill. A chance to (learn to) be with people was what counted.

Fast-froward to 2015. 
My partner is very frugal. He wants to finish off all the food in the fridge and not throw anything out. Every penny is important to him. I want to respect what is important in his life and I want to support his endeavours. So this year, 2015, I have increased the repayments of the mortgage. I've realised that if I practise some of Mr S's money-wise habits this is something we can manage, not forgetting the fact I love setting myself a challenge. 
I'm working on the philosophy of every penny counts. A lot of good money habits also resonate with my goal to live simply and make choices that are earth-friendly and people-friendly. In addition to keeping a budget, spending wisely and living simply, here are some of the ways I hope to save a little:

• think twice before grabbing a cinnamon roll or snack from the bakery
• use the wood heater for heating when winter comes, once a week, and sometimes use candles rather than electric light 
• return library books on time (which I did yesterday, knowing this was now part of the challenge - to avoid the fines which I always get)
• turn off the power switches when not in use
• turn off the TV when I'm not actually watching it (consider one TV-free day a week)
• use my phone to alert me to due dates so that bills are paid on time and no extra payments incurred.
• lunch at school gobbles up  my money....try to take food from home at least three times a week

I expect that by putting these things into practise it will actually make me think twice about all spending. So, 2015, here comes Ms Congeniality Frugality!! 

A small, but welcome, victory - saying no!

In the last few weeks I’ve said ‘no’ three times. And I’m mighty pleased with that. I am still surprised that after all these years I actually did it.

 Saying anything can be excruciating when social anxiety plagues you. I remember years ago not being able to get the words "thank you" out when a cute guy borrowed my ruler and gave it back to me. These days I can usually say most of what I want to say. In fact, sometimes I chide myself for talking too much. However, one thing which is still a challenge is saying no, especially to friends.

Recently a friend invited me to her husband’s 55^th birthday. I didn’t want to go because I’m more of a cup of coffee and a really good chat type of person  than a party person. I knew that party would go for hours. But they are very, very  special friends so I decided to pop in for a couple of hours and then leave quietly.

It felt weird breaking the flow of that evening and daring to say I’ve gotta go.” People often say “stay a little bit longer” but I knew I just had to say no back and within seconds they would be back to their socialising and merrymaking. I knew I just had to keep my head up and “act” like I was making a confident exit.

It worked a treat.

A couple of days later a friend invited me to dinner on a worknight. I didn’t  want to go but when I said no she insisted I pop in on the way home for a short time. I agreed to that. Saying no is not always easy and I can see I’m not always going to get it right. But that night I once again had to interrupt the flow of the evening and state aloud that I needed to go….which is really, really difficult. It means I have to be assertive for a few seconds and that is not easy.

I think it helped making a little plan for myself before I went to both occasions.

The third time was last week. I said no to the end-of-year work do. I did want to go but I was very tired and I knew it was my first chance in a long time to relax properly. I thought about it and figured I would be just as happy to stay home as to go out.

And I think that’s the key. Sometimes I feel guilty for saying no. I know that I tend to consider what pleases other people (what I perceive others to want) and disregard what it is I want to do. I need to make the decision based on what I want to do.  This doesn’t mean the ultimate decision will be what my first preference is.   

That’s why these three occasions mark a small victory. Because I acknowledged what I wanted to do and I based my final decision on that.  I felt stronger for going through the motions of being assertive, even though initially it felt a little strange.

 I look forward to my next opportunity for saying no!

Happy SAD Moments

It's not always easy living with social anxiety. And before I go further I should add that my perspective will be different from another person's perspective. I have a life where I can get out of the house each day but this is not everyone's experience.
Here are some of my observations from the previous week:

• I blogged last Wednesday about having no one to talk to after work. On Friday I got to have coffee with some of my colleagues. It was fun and something I felt I haven't done for a long time.  (I think because I haven't had a good chat with people for a while I talked a lot and probably quite forcibly.  Has anyone got some ideas for keeping calm and controlled when you feel as though you have a year's worth of comments to pour out?) It just goes to show that the world is not such a bad place!! It just gets quiet sometimes.
• I've put off approaching two people at work about a project they need to work on with me. For two weeks. Yikes!I put it off because I was sure their responses would be hostile. So I asked them yesterday and guess, what they said- "Sure!" So after I've wasted a certain amount of paid time avoiding the situation I realise that I was worrying about something that  might happen. And I was allowing myself to flood my mind with stressful thoughts. I take pride in my work and I don't consider myself a bludger yet I did waste time in this instance.
• Now this is a joyous one!! I went to an all-day PD and I was OK. I did so well. I found a seat, I wasn't late, I joined people at lunchtime and I actually found people to talk to. It's only been in the last two years that PDs and all-day meetings have been less-threatening. It's taken a while to get to this place but I'm sure glad I got to it. Getting to speak to others was a treat. Usually I make do for the day with a comment here or there and then I hide behind my cuppa as much as possible.