It's good.

It's good to be getting out in the fresh air.
... in the sunshine
... experiencing warmth
... as busy neighbours tending their yards
... and young ones run around the park

It's great to be getting out in the garden,
... bearing witness to Spring's emerging glory
... in the dirt
... as flowers blossom
... and new ones take root

It's grand to be waking up early again
... getting things done
... beyond the bare necessities
... finding comfort in work
... making plans
... making plans happen

A Winter Walk

   

 When things are not quite right one of the surest things to help get me back on track is sunshine! After many, many days of rain and miserably cold temperatures some beautiful sun came our way. So I got outside and I walked. Along with sunshine, walking is the other thing that does wonders for my morale. Needless to say I enjoyed my winter walk immensely. 

     Life here is slowly returning to normal after my unexpected visit to hospital a month ago which was followed by a short time at home recovering. I can't deny that the experience threw me much more than I would ever have anticipated. I believed that I had a very good handle on life, with all its ups and downs, but this episode certainly tripped me up. 

     Getting out this week and going for a walk and feeling the sun on my face was so key to helping me get back on track when life has been feeling as if it's getting out of whack. Taking time to reflect, create and garden are other activities which nourish my soul. My arm's still not strong enough for heavy gardening but I do hope to get in some more reflection time and creativity in the next few days.
     The other aspect which frustrated challenged me was that at times it was simply a matter of resting. No reflecting, no walking, no working, just resting. Which was all very weird when work sat untouched in my bag, my laptop lay idle and the carpet cried out for a clean. 
     In the meantime I have discovered that exercises do work and do make a whole lot of difference.
     Patience, my friend.
     So today I am very grateful for cheery, winter walks in the warm sunshine and I'm grateful for the unexpected beauty that appears here and there along the path. 

     And I'm grateful for the feeling of getting back on my feet. 

Navigating another pothole in the road

   Here I am, having not blogged for a while. I've been taking time off to deal with a medical issue that appeared out of nowhere. I'm still taking things easy as I recover. 
   When I was little I used to be scared of doctors and a myriad of other things. Throughout this very recent experience, I was surprised to see some of my childhood anxieties return. It was a very weird, dejavu-type feeling as I headed off to hospital last week. I felt like a four year old all over again.

   I was very fortunate to have family providing loads of support and I'm very grateful for friends who dropped in with flowers and homemade goodies. When family and friends have been sick I've usually been too busy to help out!! 
   Now there's some food for thought...

   My prognosis is very good. I know many people go to the doctor's and end up having to deal with much more than what I have come away with. 
   In the lead-up to the operation I found myself drawing on my anxiety-coping skills. It was good to know that having to learn those skills years ago has given me strength in other areas of my life many years later.    As I waited for test results I remembered to keep it very real. I kept in mind that this experience is part of the natural flow of life: ups and downs, challenges, joys, opportunities to learn and grow. I stayed focussed (OK, maybe not always) and I have learnt enough to know that I matter and it was OK for me to take time off from work (I have plenty of leave, so that was not a concern) and not feel guilty.  
   I guess you could say that I recognised it for what it was. Another pothole in the road of life.
   As I mentioned earlier there were times when anxiety did creep in. The little child in me lives again. As well, the post-operation time has been more difficult than expected. My arm has been sore and I've found everyday things challenging. Things like brushing my hair, picking things up off the floor, writing, having a shower and so on. I've been anxious about some of these smaller things more than the bigger issues.  

   On the bright side I am on the mend. I feel happy as some of the regular rhythms of life make a cautious return. Yesterday I made some sweet buns using a very simple recipe. It's been terribly dull here with winter rains and cold weather so it was a pleasant surprise to see pops of colour in the garden. I couldn't resist bringing some of that colour indoors when the sun came out yesterday afternoon. Last week I scheduled an afternoon to do a blog post. Just over a week later it's happening. 

As a friend explained the other night, you have to take care of your body and make sure it's OK. No matter how much I want to blog or organise the front room of our house, I'm learning that it can only happen if my body is ready. I think I'm still trying to accommodate this idea. How many wellbeing gurus cry out that power is all in the mind? I remember one yoga teacher once told our students that the mind is your strongest muscle.   I  thought that was rather profound and I wanted to display it in the classroom.

But over the last two weeks my body just wanted to sleep and rest...

Though I do believe that difficult times reap incredible growth and richness...

It's rather like going on a holiday to a first time destination .... great anticipation of the unknown... minus the sunglasses and photo snaps...And they speak a different language...

Mr S had a workmate over for lunch today. He got up early and cooked a small feast. I could hear him singing and joking around as he prepared curry pies, steamed buns, taro and corned beef. It was very plain to see - and hear- that he was in his element. He doesn't cook as often now because his nails are so bad and he's usually too tired from work. I think the last few weeks have been confusing for him as he grew up in a community where people did not articulate their health needs and concerns. Indeed, people in his community employ different but very natural-based methods and knowledge  when it comes to wellbeing. And as when one learns any new language (cf the language of hospitals and health practitioners and western science), it takes time to learn and accommodate new concepts and terminology.

It was very heartening to hear his joviality and see his brilliant smile filling the house all of this morning.

And to see that life goes on and good things continue to happen, no matter what!

A reflection on reflection in my life

This year my word for 2016 is not a word as such, but rather, a practice. This year I really hope to make it a priority to reflect on a regular basis. To bring this about, I did a brainstorm about how, where and when I might do that. Very quickly I came up with a few ideas that were simple enough and therefore achievable.

What?

·         Practise gratitude

·         Take time to sit and think

·         Evaluate goals

·         Seek out inspiration

Where?

·         Anywhere free from distraction

·         Seat next to window…whenever I sit there I take to daydreaming

·         Seat on the front verandah…nice, cool spot at the end of a hot day

When?

·         The hardest question!

·         Friday evenings – schedule time once a month to evaluate goals

·         At the end of the day, taking a rest outside in the cool of the evening (will work for summer)

How?  Now

Find 5 things to be grateful for each day.

At the end of the day I sit outside in the quiet of the evening and try to recall 5 things for which I am grateful. I find that by the time I get to number five many other things have come to mind. I also find that if I take my time I  feel rested and appreciative no matter what my mood was before I started. Of course, I can practise this anywhere which works as long as it's somewhere where I’m free to focus.

Create a small poster showing a quote that inspires me.

I hope to choose some words of inspiration and display them in our home. I could use watercolours or get creative on the computer. My aim is to do this once in February. I would love this activity to be a regular practice but I am trying to keep it real.

I would also like to find a time now and then when I can read or view something motivational and/or inspiring. However, I think if the two goals above happen then that will be enough to ensure that reflection  is becoming a part of my life. What I plan to make this happen does not need to be grand or rigorous.

I have already started sitting outside of an evening, looking out over the garden and reflecting on what I have to be grateful for. It's a lovely, peaceful time and very calming at the end of the day.

Other things I might do …..

Go for a long bike ride (remove myself completely from my typically sedentary, homely  way of living)

Watch a video clip of an inspirational speaker.

Share some of the inspirational stories in a post.

Journal my week/month using words, pictures, colour, highlighting significant words, experiences, memories.

My word for 2016 is not a word

While I was working out my goals for 2016 I also gave some time to thinking about what my word for 2016 would be – if I were to choose one!

Last year my word was “focus”. Last year I found it hard to plan and follow through with goals reliably. Likewise, I found it hard to find the time to “focus” and to find ways to make that happen.

When I was thinking about what the word might be for this year, I contemplated what I wanted my life to look like in 2016. What was something I wanted to see that was not so evident in 2015?

The idea of being more spiritual is what came to mind. I  wanted to see gratitude playing a more important part in my life. I knew I needed time to reflect more regularly because that’s when I see possibilities and make sense out of what is happening in my life.

Reflect is what I needed to do. It is what I wanted to do. I believe it is what helps me live a better life. After all, I'm a born thinker/dreamer. 

I believe that “focus” didn’t happen enough because I didn’t plan for it. Or perhaps there was no space for it because I had too many other goals. I didn’t take time to reflect so I didn’t find a way to make it a priority in my life.

Reflection is what I want to see happening in my life. I want it to be a priority. However I don’t really see it as a word. I see it as a practice.

Now I need to work out when and where and how it can happen!! A gratitude journal, perhaps.  A scheduled time each week? Finding inspiration on the internet, in books, on TV? Time out. Alone time. Blog it?

I love coming up with ideas so I think the first step will be to brainstorm where, when and how I can reflect. Then I’ll look at what fits in with what’s happening in my life. I plan to keep it simple and achievable and to modify it as the year goes on. (So, that means I need to make an appointment with myself this week to do just that! Let's see what I come up with.)

Savouring the (little bit of) wilderness

One of my goals in June was to get back to running. Part of my exercise regime is to at least get in some walking if nothing else. Now, to be honest, I'm not exactly on the home stretch. In fact, I'm far from it. But I did get in a little walking in June. 

Every time I walk along the creek path I love one particular scene of what is quickly becoming the last tract of wilderness around these parts. I live on the outskirts of suburbia so when I come home I can still get a glimpse of the windswept plains and a sense of the open and beyond. Alas, not for much longer. The soil has been turned and it won't be long before that piece of wilderness is transformed into another emerging suburb.
Not all of it is wilderness. Some of it is cleared land which has long been neglected. But when I walk by the creek and see the gnarled, outstretched trees close to  the water's edge, I feel immense respect for them. Those trees have managed to stand strong against human conquest of this land. Just. I do wonder for how many more years those trees will hold their ground.

I'm very grateful for the taste of nature each time I leave home. Even the weeds, pictured above, offer a welcome touch of colour to combat the gloom of winter. 

Gratitude Part 2

To be authentic I felt I needed to write a follow-up to Gratitude (which became Gratitude Part 1). It would have been easy to write about feeling down the other day , and leaving it at that, but that wouldn't tell the whole story. Or I might have made it show too easily how being "positive" can result in what you hope for.  So I decided to write a little more about that day and add what happened next.

Pittwater NSW 

It was a real struggle that day. I did feel down and the weather had been grey for days. Sunshine is the salve on  most of my wounds but I couldn't look to that the other day. As I said, focussing on "positive things" in my life certainly helped me shift from not wanting to do anything to being able to get up and get some things done. Even then, later that day there were lapses into feeling sad and not wanting anyone to see that.

At the end of Gratitude 1 I had written about embracing what is, as is, now. It really resonated with where I was at and I was keen to spend time reflecting on it. With those words in mind, I was determined to finish the last bits and pieces so the office would be ready once and for all...
...which is about the time when I hurt my back!!
...which was shortly followed by the news that Mr S had been given  a job!!!!

For so long I had been looking forward to that moment and when it finally arrived I could barely cheer.

Three days on and life is better. My back is still healing but thankfully I'm on holidays and there's no pressure to be doing things. Mr S has picked up in spirits and so have I. I must say I was a little sad at first because the new job means he will be away from home each week.  But I know how important it is to him and it's in such a lovely country area with lovely old cottages and shopfronts.

I'm sure there will be more challenges and more adventures along the pot-holed road of life but, for now, I'm very thankful for the wonderful opportunity given to Mr S and I'm certainly grateful that my back is healing and it's getting easier to do things around home.

Gratitude Part 1

Sleepy summer Pittwater, NSW

I'm needing a little boost today. It's holiday time which is when I usually find a comfortable momentum as I get into the gentle pace of domestic living. 
These holidays it's been different because Mr S is here. Now, that's been good. Last year he was living in the next state so that meant we could only see each other every couple of months. However, Mr S left his job and lifestyle over there to be with me here and he has yet to find work. We've been checking out jobs every day for the last two months and we've now extended the search to country areas (which means that he would be living away from home). As I sit down to search again it's hard to approach it without feeling down.
One of the key requirements of many jobs here is that you have your own car. Mr S doesn't. He's prepared to ride his bike but they don't accept that. There's no regard for the fact that he has been riding his bike to cold-call places for work. There's no regard for the fact that he travelled on foot to work for the last four years, two years of which required him to walk at 3 every morning.  If you haven't got a car you're crossed off the list. Mr S figures that there is no point in him getting a car and paying for driving lessons while he has no income. He's very proud and I need to respect that.
But he's a fantastic worker and someone one day soon is going to be very glad he's on their team...
Meanwhile I need a boost and one of the best ways I know to do that is to focus on what's been good in the last few days.
This is what I have come up with

• The front room is slowly getting sorted and I never thought it would happen so quickly.
• I did housework this week! It's been a while since I've had time to do a proper clean instead of a quick tidy-up.
• We've been eating zucchini from our own garden. There seem to be one or two to pick each week which is perfect timing.
• The grapes are ripening. This could be the first year I actually get to eat some, though I think they're probably a wine-making variety. I'm  not even sure how I will know when they are ready.
• Mr S had an interview in the country the other day, in central Victoria. We stopped at a beautiful, sleepy town that had a very old feel about it. We had time for a stroll up and down either side of its one street. It was so peaceful there.
• I'm slowly getting somewhere with the running. It's been a slow journey. It's taken a while and I'm still a couple of weeks off my goal. BUT, I'm almost there.
• I've had time to indulge in my passion for dream house programs on cable TV, and let me say that these are better than chocolate cake cf. "You Live In What" and "Escape to the Country".
• I have a "word" for the year and I've printed out my goals for the year. I've organised my own version of a household folder  that sits nicely in the newly-organised office.
• I had a beautiful walk the other night with Mr S. around the lake near our home. It's nice to be able to get out and enjoy the summer evenings.
• I think there's something to be said for "lulls" in life. I don't think life is meant to be smiling faces every second of the day. I'm a bit of an idealist so I need to be careful of aiming high and believing that life is only good when great things are happening.  With this in mind, I'm grateful for the space to realise this and to be able to challenge myself to embrace what is, as is, now.

Would you believe that I feel better? The weather is still miserable outside, considering it's summer, but changing my focus for a few minutes has helped  me think about something different. It's put me in the mood to be productive. It's now time to clean out a cupboard, clean the bathroom and go for a run. Time to put on some music and go get started.

Inspiration and gratitude at Christmas time

• This Christmas morning, at Federation Square in Melbourne, Victoria, there is a free breakfast for all. It is especially for the  homeless and refugees, but all are welcome. It has been organised by the local hospitality industry. There is also free public transport across Melbourne on Christmas Day. Isn't it wonderful when government and corporations can work together to "give"!! It makes me feel proud to be a part of this community.

• In the aftermath of the Martin Place siege last week, came this inspiring reaction to a situation faced by one Muslim woman on public transport. The "I'll Ride With You" campaign began on twitter when one commuter noticed the discomfort of a woman wearing a hijab and reached out to her. I was moved by this simple, thoughtful act of kindness that quickly evolved into a campaign of support and a demonstration of how a community can pull together in times of distress. I think it shows us that our response to catastrophe need not be hostile and revengeful. We have the option of coming together and seeking good for all.

• I'm on holidays!!!! I have time to contemplate, to relax, to share and to just be. Yippee!!

Christmas 2014: Simply Special

These days I keep Christmas very simple. It's a conscious choice  but I think it first came about with not having my own family and being a stay-at-home sort of person.

I usually do some special treats for the kids in my class. I always have one or two or several students who don't have parents or who don't have much, so it's a pleasure to do something nice for them. We usually put up a Christmas tree which the kids love. I catch them taking photos when no one is looking!!

Working closely with young people who may not have family and who may not have much money makes it easy for me to look past all the glitz and glamour of the Christmas season. I don't have to look far to see that just because it is Christmas time and just because there are wonderful gifts to be bought, does not in any way equate to what these young people are missing in their lives - no matter what the advertising gurus and big businesses try to tell us.

I have to admit that I have had a number of years when I have felt terribly sad about having to celebrate another Christmas on my own. In fact, it is probably the cynic in me which got me started on a very simple Christmas.  (Said at some point in the past, with bitter overtones: Well, it's not like anyone's gonna see anything I set up; I could do a fantastic job and no one would ever know.") One year I put up the bare minimum out of spite. Now I choose to keep it simple because I find it is more practical, more eco-friendly and just as beautiful.

I have a small Christmas tree which I use each year at school. Mr S is here with me this year so I have decided to put it up here at home. Most of the decorations on the tree have been gifts while a few are souvenirs of faraway lands. I add some tinsel here and there around the house - without removing what's already in place.

Then I set up the nativity scene. I bought it at a local market about twelve years ago. Even though it's "cute", I've come to love it dearly. There's something very calming and serene about it.

Christmas 2014 is very special because this is the first year I will be able to share it with someone who is a very special part of my life. Social anxiety, for me and many others, means that relationships are neither easy to come by nor easy to hold on to. Relationships are something which many people take for granted but with SA they can be a constant source of angst. So I'm really very grateful that this opportunity has come my way and that Christmas 2014 is pretty simple and pretty special.

On the road: simple travelling

Two weeks ago I was travelling on the road and feeling invigorated by life. It was a simple, no frills trip. Now I'm back home and, again, swimming in the busyness of life. The sun was shining today and I was itching to be out and about, enjoying this gorgeous world.

Tonight I had my blogging class  and now I'm back home getting ready for some guests who will be arriving tomorrow. It's going to be 34 degrees so I will need to find time to water the garden before I head off to work in the morning. There's beauty around me, even here in suburbia, but not a lot of time to savour it.

I'm putting up some snaps taken while I was over in South Australia recently.  I love getting in the car and driving away from the hustle and bustle. When I'm in the car, out on the open road, I really can't respond to phone calls, student problems or the sight of a messy house waiting for some attention.

   

I'm free when I drive.

 I love listening to radio broadcasts unless of course, it's a Saturday and every station is broadcasting sports events. Now that's a tough ride. I've gotten used to driving interstate so now I know the radio stations in each region, as well as good places to stop. As someone who was fairly uncomfortable with public toilets, I must say that the ones at the parks  approaching the Victorian/South Australian borders are impressively clean.

This time I managed to get a few photos along the way which is not always easy when you're driving down a highway with heavily-laden trucks and 100 km speed limits. It was clearly hay-making season in the rural areas, whereas the previous time I went across the fields were covered in bright, yellow canola.

Canoe Tree - on the road from Strathalbyn to Goolwa

 I've travelled extensively over the years. When I was younger and backpacking around the world I cut down on sight-seeing to stretch the money as far as I could. Now that I'm a little older I still like to keep travelling simple. Like my homelife!! I can squeeze three landmarks into a day if I choose, or I can take on one landmark that I'm really interested in (not necessarily the ones the tourist brochures insist I like). These days I much prefer to find a good walking track or a lovely place to sit , drink coffee and absorb the local atmosphere.

My friends in South Australia are on a tight budget so there were no fancy dinners. We took a walk to the top of a hill which I had expected to  take thirty minutes, thinking it was not far from their house. It was a warm day and we started late. The top of the hill turned out to be beyond the edge of their suburb, in and around the farmland. During my trip I saw many tumbledown farmsheds and rotting fences. I couldn't help thinking that we will lose all those untold stories as they rust and fall to pieces.

An hour and a half later we got back home. I had gone without water and was terribly thirsty but I managed to make it to the top of the hill  and all the way down. There was some beautiful countryside and my legs got plenty of exercise. As we walked, our chatter wandered in all directions, except when we got to the steepest part of the hill....at which point I couldn't do too much talking and had to conserve energy!

I was relieved to get back home but proud to say that I had made it to the top. The fresh air, beautiful views and good company were just as satisfying as any fancy dinner or some over-the-top, contrived landmark. This was my kind of travelling: simple, easy, enjoyable, good company, natural, authentic.

Simple Living Sunday: In the garden

Life has been busy. I was going to do so much this weekend but, unfortunately, there's only time for top priorities. Yesterday I was meant to start on my tax. I was very tired after a busy day the day before and ended up having a 2 hour nap. I am grateful that my life allows me to do that but I want to go away next weekend so there remains much to do.

I finally started on my tax last night. I pride myself on doing it myself though the truth is that no one sees my frustrations as I go through the motions. Most of my stress comes from second checking as I am not a natural when it comes to bookkeeping. The main format is relatively easy and doing it myself means that I know what's happening with my money. But, oh my, the frustration I experienced last night as a whole hour passed with me attempting to set up the new, compulsory account. One account must link to another account, and so on. The setting up of that "new" account was challenging (hopefully no one could hear my ranting).

I'm pleased to say that some new additions to the garden are settling in well. My gardening friend helped me plant the seeds and seedlings but much of the soil - outside of the garden beds - is very poor. Nevertheless, some seeds have taken well  and  made a good start. Hopefully I can nourish them along the way.

I love the red sea of flowers next door. Last year I grabbed some cuttings and planted them by the front fence. They've already started to make an impression.

I'm learning...slowly. I'm happy with this lot of carrots.

I don't know the technical term but each year around this time the grapevine drops its ?????? and a green carpet forms on the patio.

 

I need to go and do some school preparation and get that tax done.

Have a lovely day wherever you are.

My Simple Life

This is a post I prepared a while ago when I moved into my new home. I don't seem to find the space these days to think about life as I did back then ...which is why I want to get back to blogging. Spring is upon us and it is my hope to once again be inspired by the beauty and richness which surround me, and through my blogging, to find the time to savour this.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've just moved into my new home. It's charming, sweet, comfortable and cosy. It's better than I had imagined. I decided to move for practical reasons. I desperately needed more space and I wanted a garage. The charm and character of this cottage-styled home, as well as the lovely setting, were extras I had never counted on. It's still hard to believe it's mine.

This house has solar panels and a wood heater. It's relatively small and sits on a small piece of land. It's situated in a prefabricated suburb, one which I had previously refused to look at, but as such it comes with lovely lakes and gardens. I ride my bike regularly and enjoy getting out  and about.

Simple living?

Well, not totally. However I feel like I've landed the perfect place for me and, at the same time, I can look forward to taking all my experience and knowledge of simple living and see how it might work in with my new life here.

OK, I'm not committed to green living the way some enthusiasts are, but I do want it to be a part of my lifestyle and my intention of living well along the pot-holed road to happiness; a life where people are more important than things, where there is respect for the natural environment, where quality is more important than quantity...

So far there have been many opportunities where I've been able to uphold my ideals:

• eating home-cooked meals
• riding my bike around for exercise and enjoyment
• saying hello to the neighbours
• in the big clean-up, sending useful pieces and clothing to Vinnies, recycling all that used paper which was kept in boxes over the years and never referred to
• de-cluttering, de-cluttering and de-cluttering
• using cardboard boxes wherever possible- we went to the supermarket and waited as they unpacked goods onto the shelves then  reused the boxes again in the sorting process
• I haven't needed to buy anything new for this house which has been a blessing, all of my old furniture has fitted in well here
• I now subscribe to solar energy

It's encouraging to see that habits learnt in my previous life carry over into my new life almost automatically.

With immense gratitude I sit back and appreciate all that I have and all that my life offers me. The sun shines through the window as I write. I am warm and comfortable on this icy, cold day. I have a lovely home and an opportunity to live life well. Amongst the clutter, the empty boxes, the filled-to-the-brim boxes and the emerging tranquility, I am rich today.

Inspiration and Gratitude

It's a hot, blustery day here in Melbourne and I can stay at home and take it as easy as I like. Too hot to get out and do some things but not so hot I can't potter around inside.

I'm trying to work out ways to revamp my blog and make it more accessible. The funny SAd thing is that I'm happy to do whatever it takes as long as it does not involve putting myself out there. Yes. Not exactly conducive to making it in the blogosphere. Anyway, bear with me as I try to streamline and learn more about blogging over the next few weeks.

Inspiration and Gratitude

• Yesterday I had two young people staying with me. They were playing and running around and it pleased me to see that my house could be a home with people in it. It gave me even greater  pleasure to know that these two young people felt safe enough to be themselves so that they could laugh and play to their hearts' content.
• I have life. I get down very easily about what I don't have in my life and this year I want to challenge myself to value my story and to embrace who I am as I am. I read a newspaper article about a young journalist who died of cancer. It's so easy for me to pour my energy into the notion of living alone and the struggles associated with that. Yet, if I turn my eyes the other way (just shift, a minor shift is all it takes) then I realise that I have so much more than that. For a start I was able to get up today. Now that's something to be glad about!!

Since last year, I had wanted to share stories of people and experiences that inspire me. Having SAd can often make you feel that you are on the outer and that the world is revolving without you. I find that I need reminders and the occasional shake-up to get me out of that mindset and to prod me into heading off in a more nurturing direction. So this year I hope to bring to you some of the websites and people that inspire me.

Recently I came across "The Wellness Warrior".    Not only does she talk about living a greener, simple life, she also shares her inspiration. And like all of us she has had her share of challenges.

• I admire the way Jess has turned her life around. Out of very challenging circumstances she has forged a new life for herself.
• Jess totally embraces what she believes about life. She promotes a healthy body, mind and spirit and her website shows this. It's a wholistic approach to living life well.
• I love her inspiration board. I have already drawn on some of her ideas for my D-I-Y calendar.

Check it out!

2011 and 2012 Moving the obstacles out of the way

It's been such a long time since I was last here. I've been busy with work, looking after children and with just tackling  the fatigue and lethargy that comes along.

The end of the year saw me looking after some young people when at the start of 2011 I had gritted my teeth and decided to face the grim fact that I would never be capable of looking after children in my home except for the occasional weekend. Life has surprised me and it has brought a smile to my face. Somehow, it makes for a peaceful sleep at night. Somehow the house does not seem so cavernous!

I had a chance at love and blew it. This put a damper on the rest of the year. I sent a lovely Christmas card to the man in question, hoping to convince him to make another go of it. It's just really hard trying to explain to the uninitiated that SAD can make you say the stupidest things and act in the weirdest way. SAD or not, I am responsible and again I have sabotaged a chance at happiness for myself (and for him :)) I'm in my 40s now so I don't wear this sort of result very well.  It's not easy facing the rest of your life on your own and pretending that you don't care for companionship as you step out into the world each day.  Well, I could go on and on....  I don't want to be negative about life, a trap I can easily fall into, but it's hard to get excited about a life on my own amid people whose lives are full of intimacy and relationships.


Any advice on how to deal with it?

So it's time to prepare for 2012. And the challenge is to try to approach it positively. And right now I don't think I can do it. So bear with me as I try to work out a way to overcome those obstacles getting in the way.

Here goes.
Step 1

Focus on what is good in your life. Yes, bad things happen but don't lose sight of the good stuff.

Life is good right now.
Today ...

• I was tired and I could sleep it off without worrying about work or getting someone's meal.
• It was a gloomy morning but by evening the sun had come out and the day seemed cheerier.
• I had a delicious, healthy, store-bought risotto (Pitango).
• I got to listen to some podcasts which I don't usually have time for. 
• The holidays are here. Hooray!
• I did things as I pleased today, in my own time and in my own way.
• I felt a bit strange about being on my own but I persevered and, really, the day was pleasant. 

Life has given me many good things this year.
In 2011...

• My year ended with me fostering children, after having "dropped" that dream. It was enjoyable and I managed it without too much stress.
• There were some difficult times at work. But, the first three months were truly wonderful. I love it when you go to work and you experience the joy of the craftmanship of your work, as well as the privilege of working with such delightful young people.
• After ten years of drought, we've had lots of rain all year. There are flowers growing in my garden which I haven't seen for so long. And I finally got the back yard garden patch cleared and mulched. It's ready to be an organic vegie garden.
• And I started my first blog. It took a long time to get up the courage to put myself out there in the bloggersphere and I've got a fair way to go. But, I did start and I did do it!!! And I feel good about that.