Simple living Sunday: When I say simple what do I mean?

Finding a hidden treasure when decluttering this week.

I always have holidays at this time of the year so it's a great opportunity to evaluate where things are at in my life. Even though I'm fairly happy with where things are at in terms of my simple living goals I wanted to try to define what simple living means to me. I came up with the following:

making a conscious choice to live  mindfully, 

making choices that are people-friendly and earth-friendly 

and which enable life to be simple and uncomplicated. 

The last part could be an oxymoron as I can be intense at times especially when my inner chatterbox is in "anxiety mode" which is why simple and uncomplicated are important parts of the definition.

Simple and uncomplicated means that my life does not have to be determined by the media and marketing world. I can live my life free of advertising persuasions. It means that  shopping is intentional moreso than a way to pass time. At Christmas time I chose not to buy presents for friends. I know some people put a lot of time and thought into gift-giving but when I see the amount of things in my home I find I choose not to add to the clutter and, ultimately, landfill. I have plenty so I don't feel the need to gather more and I'm not sure that Christmas is meant to be about that sort of gift-giving. That's something which I hope to explore a little more come Christmas 2015!

Simple and uncomplicated - I'm learning- means that life's goals can be achieved just as well using the simplest of methods rather than resorting to expensive or complicated methods. Simple and uncomplicated is also where I find my life balance. Weeding the garden is one of my most enjoyable recreational activities. I find it therapeutic and I find it energises me.

Simple and uncomplicated means that I don't have chickens and sprawling vegie gardens and I don't make everything from scratch. One of my life purposes is to teach and to be present to those students and that requires time and energy. I'm happy to do that work so bringing chickens into the equation would not fit at all. There are weeks where the dishes don't get done so it's important for me to know what I can manage easily (=simple) and what would make life  unnecessarily stressful (= complicated). It means I do what I can when I can.

This week I've gotten into the swing of making sure simple living can happen in my home by decluttering the tubs and cupboards in one of the unused rooms. At one point I was quite dismayed to see the amount of stuff I had stacked away as I really do try to be careful about what I hold on to. Once I got past that stage it felt good knowing that I could focus on making way for a nice, inviting work and relaxation space. It's been very satisfying carting loads of stuff off to the local op shop but just a tad frustrating knowing I haven't yet finished. Stay focussed!!

It's time for these papers to go!

These tubs have been sorted. Just one cupboard to go...

Sunshine after days of rain

So on this windy, overcast Sunday, it's back to the grindstone. I want to make a vegetable lasagne for dinner,  I'll probably relax after that as I've been feeling tired lately and I don't have any pressing deadlines at the moment. The sun's coming out which is heartening as this  house is dark in summer when the light is low.

Have a good week.

Goals for 2015: Be healthy and happy!

My overriding goal for 2015, as I approach a milestone birthday, is to be healthy and happy, with particular emphasis on healthy.

As I age - yes, I am still young, but I can definitely notice my body changing in many ways - I want to make this a priority. It's easy for me to forget about drinking water or going for a run when work or the internet take over, yet for me to be truly healthy now and in the future, the exercise needs to be regular and happening NOW.

Being happy is just as important but I feel there is so  much in my life which is good and that is something which I can more easily work on at any time and any place. Being happy is a broad term and I suppose I really use it to mean wellbeing of spirit and mind, rather than wearing a smile on your face every moment of your day.

So to be healthy this year I want to commit  to

• running three times a week
• buying a "good" bike and going for weekly bike rides
• drinking more water every day

To be happy  I aim to do what I can do to enhance my social wellbeing (with SA that's something which I often avoid, tending to put my energies into personal pursuits), enjoy my house and garden and continue to work on keeping life simple and meaningful.

Social and personal wellbeing goals:

• listen attentively, focus on the speaker (not myself), be present, talk less
• make an effort to invite friends over or catch up with friends once a month, be active

Enjoying  house and garden

•  hang pictures around house
•  make two more, small fairy gardens
•  one new recipe a month
•  one additional cleaning job a week
• commit to planned routine time e.g. Friday nights bills and planning, a load of washing midweek
• spend time in the garden at least once a week

Keeping life simple and meaningful ( in addition to all of the above goals)

• take time to reflect and express gratitude on a weekly basis
• at the end of the year prepare and celebrate a simple, intentional Christmas
• watch pennies more closely, chip away at the mortgage
• sew; possibly try some bunting or a table runner
• planned computer time rather than using it as a procrastination tool
• blog twice a week

There are many goals but I've got a whole year to work towards achieving them. I tried to implement quite a number of them last year so in 2015 I just need to commit to them. I endeavour to live a life that is people-friendly and earth-friendly, as well as being simple and mindful, so such values need also to underlie what I hope to accomplish this year.

Let's see how it goes for 2015. I've highlighted those goals which need to stay on top and which will take priority even when life gets too busy. It's holiday time at the moment so it's the perfect time for making a start. No excuses!!  

Living in the shadows: A quick message of encouragement.

One of my main reasons for blogging is to create a gentle awareness of social anxiety and  to encourage people to do something about it. A few days ago I came across some long-ago memories of my walk with social anxiety when I was cleaning out the shed.

Thoughts I had on social anxiety aged 31. Not knowing that "the shadows" had a name.

               Why do I feel as if I am standing in the shadows?
               I want to step out
               But there is no place for me

               In the shadows 
               I busy myself
              Caught up happily in life's demands
              Until again 
              The beauty of light flickers my way
              And I stop and look

              There is beauty in the shadows
              But the light is where life blooms.

That day in the shed I spent a long time flicking through pages and pages of those old diaries and letters. The letters brought back the most wonderful memories of  my first year backpacking alone and my later years working abroad.  However, the diaries were  a little more revealing. They showed, in detail, the struggle that was a part of my everyday life.

When I returned from working overseas my friends, who were by that time long-married, were having their first and second children.  I found it hard to reconnect with them. I was struggling to go out on weekends. I was struggling to find someone to share a coffee with. I wanted to go for walks but I was too embarrassed, too shy, too uncomfortable. I wanted to meet people but I found it so hard. I felt terribly lonely and my diaries show the first signs of cynicism entering my life during that time.

I don't feel that I am living in the shadows anymore. Sure, life is sometimes lonely and challenging. I see that now as a normal part of being human. I believe social anxiety will always be a part of my life but I try not to let it define me.  Nowadays, I have clocked up hundreds of walks by myself and this year I started to run by myself. (Needless to say, this did not happen overnight.)

But the change from struggling with life to engaging with life only came about when I started to go to counselling with a professional.

If you're familiar with this hidden struggle, I'd like to offer you a message of encouragement. Perhaps you would like to learn  how to step out from the shadows. I hope you get an opportunity in 2015 to  see a counsellor or psychologist, if you haven't already, so that you can begin the journey to a more light-filled  life.

Life doesn't always have to be about living in the shadows. 

DISCLAIMER:
I write this blog from a personal perspective.
I am not an expert nor a professional regarding the subject of social anxiety.
When I offer a definition of what social anxiety is, it may not be what the experts say it is. It is simply my interpretation of my experience of it.