Priorities

The sun is out again. Hooray! It’s been so cold and wet so many days that I think I may have fallen into a trap of doing very little these last couple of weeks. It was just too miserable to get out of bed before 10 o’clock. As I look out the window, I've decided that a walk around the lake is definitely on today's list.

As I write, the Australian leadership is up in the air, is difficult to define and is something of an enigma. Or, at least, it seems that way. Really, all is well. I know of no fellow citizens whose lives are in turmoil because of the recent election and its yet-to-be-decided outcome. Procedures are in place. Final votes are being counted as is prescribed when there is no clear majority.

Like my life. I still have my job, my partner, family and friends. I still have my home. Hospital visits are part of my weekly routine. For now. Really, all is well and I have no difficulties. The usual procedures are in place. Not that I’m always following them. But they are there to pick up when I am ready.

Like the Australian government, life is operating a little differently for the moment.

I compiled a list of what is important to guide me through this time, to be used until life settles, to refer to when my mind wants to switch off. I formulated it at a time when I didn’t realise I was adjusting to all that was happening, when I had been feeling rather anxious. It had to be a simple list. A list of priorities.

1. Rest. Priority number one.
2. Reflect and relax. Do things which bring joy. Even if it is just for ten minutes. Take time out.
3. Drink water.
4. Eat well.
5. Exercise. Walk. Perhaps one day run.
6. Love and acceptance. Because sometimes my patience runs short and I need to know what to say, what to do, how to react in a split second when life is challenging.
7. Listen. I think this will be on all of my lists for ever and ever. I aspire to be a good listener. A reminder, too,  that life is is not all about me!
8. Do jobs. Sometimes I do not want to do the dishes. Sometimes I do not want to do my paid work. I need to keep my focus. I need to do some jobs.
9. Organise. I am absent-minded. Truly. I need to keep lists and write things down.

The hospital visits are important. I am no longer anxious as I approach all things medical. I am becoming comfortable with the hospital routine. It’s more my day-to-day routine at home and work which are often up in the air. Hence the list.

I sit in the waiting room and watch other people and I see that some of them are dealing with some heavy stuff. I get perspective on my own situation.

Like the Australian government, I know what the result will be. It will be OK. While things are a little unusual at the moment, they are sure to settle in the ensuing months, albeit with a few adjustments here and there. 

A Winter Walk

   

 When things are not quite right one of the surest things to help get me back on track is sunshine! After many, many days of rain and miserably cold temperatures some beautiful sun came our way. So I got outside and I walked. Along with sunshine, walking is the other thing that does wonders for my morale. Needless to say I enjoyed my winter walk immensely. 

     Life here is slowly returning to normal after my unexpected visit to hospital a month ago which was followed by a short time at home recovering. I can't deny that the experience threw me much more than I would ever have anticipated. I believed that I had a very good handle on life, with all its ups and downs, but this episode certainly tripped me up. 

     Getting out this week and going for a walk and feeling the sun on my face was so key to helping me get back on track when life has been feeling as if it's getting out of whack. Taking time to reflect, create and garden are other activities which nourish my soul. My arm's still not strong enough for heavy gardening but I do hope to get in some more reflection time and creativity in the next few days.
     The other aspect which frustrated challenged me was that at times it was simply a matter of resting. No reflecting, no walking, no working, just resting. Which was all very weird when work sat untouched in my bag, my laptop lay idle and the carpet cried out for a clean. 
     In the meantime I have discovered that exercises do work and do make a whole lot of difference.
     Patience, my friend.
     So today I am very grateful for cheery, winter walks in the warm sunshine and I'm grateful for the unexpected beauty that appears here and there along the path. 

     And I'm grateful for the feeling of getting back on my feet. 

Navigating another pothole in the road

   Here I am, having not blogged for a while. I've been taking time off to deal with a medical issue that appeared out of nowhere. I'm still taking things easy as I recover. 
   When I was little I used to be scared of doctors and a myriad of other things. Throughout this very recent experience, I was surprised to see some of my childhood anxieties return. It was a very weird, dejavu-type feeling as I headed off to hospital last week. I felt like a four year old all over again.

   I was very fortunate to have family providing loads of support and I'm very grateful for friends who dropped in with flowers and homemade goodies. When family and friends have been sick I've usually been too busy to help out!! 
   Now there's some food for thought...

   My prognosis is very good. I know many people go to the doctor's and end up having to deal with much more than what I have come away with. 
   In the lead-up to the operation I found myself drawing on my anxiety-coping skills. It was good to know that having to learn those skills years ago has given me strength in other areas of my life many years later.    As I waited for test results I remembered to keep it very real. I kept in mind that this experience is part of the natural flow of life: ups and downs, challenges, joys, opportunities to learn and grow. I stayed focussed (OK, maybe not always) and I have learnt enough to know that I matter and it was OK for me to take time off from work (I have plenty of leave, so that was not a concern) and not feel guilty.  
   I guess you could say that I recognised it for what it was. Another pothole in the road of life.
   As I mentioned earlier there were times when anxiety did creep in. The little child in me lives again. As well, the post-operation time has been more difficult than expected. My arm has been sore and I've found everyday things challenging. Things like brushing my hair, picking things up off the floor, writing, having a shower and so on. I've been anxious about some of these smaller things more than the bigger issues.  

   On the bright side I am on the mend. I feel happy as some of the regular rhythms of life make a cautious return. Yesterday I made some sweet buns using a very simple recipe. It's been terribly dull here with winter rains and cold weather so it was a pleasant surprise to see pops of colour in the garden. I couldn't resist bringing some of that colour indoors when the sun came out yesterday afternoon. Last week I scheduled an afternoon to do a blog post. Just over a week later it's happening. 

As a friend explained the other night, you have to take care of your body and make sure it's OK. No matter how much I want to blog or organise the front room of our house, I'm learning that it can only happen if my body is ready. I think I'm still trying to accommodate this idea. How many wellbeing gurus cry out that power is all in the mind? I remember one yoga teacher once told our students that the mind is your strongest muscle.   I  thought that was rather profound and I wanted to display it in the classroom.

But over the last two weeks my body just wanted to sleep and rest...

Though I do believe that difficult times reap incredible growth and richness...

It's rather like going on a holiday to a first time destination .... great anticipation of the unknown... minus the sunglasses and photo snaps...And they speak a different language...

Mr S had a workmate over for lunch today. He got up early and cooked a small feast. I could hear him singing and joking around as he prepared curry pies, steamed buns, taro and corned beef. It was very plain to see - and hear- that he was in his element. He doesn't cook as often now because his nails are so bad and he's usually too tired from work. I think the last few weeks have been confusing for him as he grew up in a community where people did not articulate their health needs and concerns. Indeed, people in his community employ different but very natural-based methods and knowledge  when it comes to wellbeing. And as when one learns any new language (cf the language of hospitals and health practitioners and western science), it takes time to learn and accommodate new concepts and terminology.

It was very heartening to hear his joviality and see his brilliant smile filling the house all of this morning.

And to see that life goes on and good things continue to happen, no matter what!