Feeling down: No easy answer.

I'm an idealist. I love to dream. I love to sit back and reflect on life. From time to time I find myself reading lots of articles about Living Life to the Full, Being Happy, Life is What You Make It.

I truly wonder whether some of those writers have had a life where they constantly have to deal with  health issues  and whether they've ever had to make do on their own, day after day, year after year. It seems to me that, in their world, living a good, healthy life naturally and easily results in finding a fabulous life-with partner- in a few weeks or months.

Oh, I wish my life were like that!

With this in mind I often feel disappointed  when I can't live up to those expectations. In the last few days I've found myself coming home wanting to cry. I try to tell myself that I am happy but the truth is that for some unclear reason I am not.

I have been busy and I'm finally managing to shake off a bug. Last night I went to yoga relaxation class only to return home tired and with more book work to do. The dishes were not done for the second night in a row (hopefully tonight I'll get them done). Monday nights are always stressful.

I need to be level-headed at these times and not get carried away with the emotions.

I am tired +
I have had a bug and I haven't shaken it off completely +
I have been busy +
My new class is very demanding and the level is new to me +
I am getting out less and less these days
= a Rivergirl who misses her time and space and energy!!!!

I'm not sure what the answer is.

In the past I have made time each night to think of 5 things which have been a positive part of my life on that day. This  may not take away my feelings of sadness straight away but I believe that it  helps balance out my "tiredness" and "down" feelings. I think that  life with SAD readily gives way to negative thinking so  this practice "trains" me to think more positively (even though I haven't been practising it lately). I first started using it when my mind was overwhelmed at nights from  worrying too much.

So today, I am grateful for...

• I went grocery shopping and now I've got some decent food in the house again!
• It's my television free night and I'm sticking to it.
• I've got something to look forward to- tomorrow I've organised to meet with another teacher for coffee before school. This is something I like to do but I rarely do because so many of my colleagues are busy with family etc.
• I'm glad I saw the opportunity last week to accept the coffee invitation when I could have said that early mornings are too hard for me.
• It's Tuesday night. Monday nights are a mad rush but Tuesday nights I can relax.
• Hey, I got to work earlier than usual. After a great start to the year (breakfast every morning, gettin to work with time to spare) I've returned to the days of old: get up, get dressed, run out. But today I got to work ten minutes earlier.
• ...which reminds me, I got to clean up a portion of the  mess on my desk at work; a very small portion but a portion nonetheless

So my strategies this week for combatting the blues and the energy drain:

1. Keep things in perspective. If possible separate the emotional from the practical.  "I am feeling down because I am sick and I am tired... and that's how it is right now."
2. Take time to focus on what has been good in your life today. Celebrate these moments.