Merry Christmas

I think Santa drew the short straw this year!!

Inspiration and gratitude at Christmas time

• This Christmas morning, at Federation Square in Melbourne, Victoria, there is a free breakfast for all. It is especially for the  homeless and refugees, but all are welcome. It has been organised by the local hospitality industry. There is also free public transport across Melbourne on Christmas Day. Isn't it wonderful when government and corporations can work together to "give"!! It makes me feel proud to be a part of this community.

• In the aftermath of the Martin Place siege last week, came this inspiring reaction to a situation faced by one Muslim woman on public transport. The "I'll Ride With You" campaign began on twitter when one commuter noticed the discomfort of a woman wearing a hijab and reached out to her. I was moved by this simple, thoughtful act of kindness that quickly evolved into a campaign of support and a demonstration of how a community can pull together in times of distress. I think it shows us that our response to catastrophe need not be hostile and revengeful. We have the option of coming together and seeking good for all.

• I'm on holidays!!!! I have time to contemplate, to relax, to share and to just be. Yippee!!

Christmas 2014: Simply Special

These days I keep Christmas very simple. It's a conscious choice  but I think it first came about with not having my own family and being a stay-at-home sort of person.

I usually do some special treats for the kids in my class. I always have one or two or several students who don't have parents or who don't have much, so it's a pleasure to do something nice for them. We usually put up a Christmas tree which the kids love. I catch them taking photos when no one is looking!!

Working closely with young people who may not have family and who may not have much money makes it easy for me to look past all the glitz and glamour of the Christmas season. I don't have to look far to see that just because it is Christmas time and just because there are wonderful gifts to be bought, does not in any way equate to what these young people are missing in their lives - no matter what the advertising gurus and big businesses try to tell us.

I have to admit that I have had a number of years when I have felt terribly sad about having to celebrate another Christmas on my own. In fact, it is probably the cynic in me which got me started on a very simple Christmas.  (Said at some point in the past, with bitter overtones: Well, it's not like anyone's gonna see anything I set up; I could do a fantastic job and no one would ever know.") One year I put up the bare minimum out of spite. Now I choose to keep it simple because I find it is more practical, more eco-friendly and just as beautiful.

I have a small Christmas tree which I use each year at school. Mr S is here with me this year so I have decided to put it up here at home. Most of the decorations on the tree have been gifts while a few are souvenirs of faraway lands. I add some tinsel here and there around the house - without removing what's already in place.

Then I set up the nativity scene. I bought it at a local market about twelve years ago. Even though it's "cute", I've come to love it dearly. There's something very calming and serene about it.

Christmas 2014 is very special because this is the first year I will be able to share it with someone who is a very special part of my life. Social anxiety, for me and many others, means that relationships are neither easy to come by nor easy to hold on to. Relationships are something which many people take for granted but with SA they can be a constant source of angst. So I'm really very grateful that this opportunity has come my way and that Christmas 2014 is pretty simple and pretty special.

A small, but welcome, victory - saying no!

In the last few weeks I’ve said ‘no’ three times. And I’m mighty pleased with that. I am still surprised that after all these years I actually did it.

 Saying anything can be excruciating when social anxiety plagues you. I remember years ago not being able to get the words "thank you" out when a cute guy borrowed my ruler and gave it back to me. These days I can usually say most of what I want to say. In fact, sometimes I chide myself for talking too much. However, one thing which is still a challenge is saying no, especially to friends.

Recently a friend invited me to her husband’s 55^th birthday. I didn’t want to go because I’m more of a cup of coffee and a really good chat type of person  than a party person. I knew that party would go for hours. But they are very, very  special friends so I decided to pop in for a couple of hours and then leave quietly.

It felt weird breaking the flow of that evening and daring to say I’ve gotta go.” People often say “stay a little bit longer” but I knew I just had to say no back and within seconds they would be back to their socialising and merrymaking. I knew I just had to keep my head up and “act” like I was making a confident exit.

It worked a treat.

A couple of days later a friend invited me to dinner on a worknight. I didn’t  want to go but when I said no she insisted I pop in on the way home for a short time. I agreed to that. Saying no is not always easy and I can see I’m not always going to get it right. But that night I once again had to interrupt the flow of the evening and state aloud that I needed to go….which is really, really difficult. It means I have to be assertive for a few seconds and that is not easy.

I think it helped making a little plan for myself before I went to both occasions.

The third time was last week. I said no to the end-of-year work do. I did want to go but I was very tired and I knew it was my first chance in a long time to relax properly. I thought about it and figured I would be just as happy to stay home as to go out.

And I think that’s the key. Sometimes I feel guilty for saying no. I know that I tend to consider what pleases other people (what I perceive others to want) and disregard what it is I want to do. I need to make the decision based on what I want to do.  This doesn’t mean the ultimate decision will be what my first preference is.   

That’s why these three occasions mark a small victory. Because I acknowledged what I wanted to do and I based my final decision on that.  I felt stronger for going through the motions of being assertive, even though initially it felt a little strange.

 I look forward to my next opportunity for saying no!

Simple Living – garden update

It’s been a wee while since I posted a blog. I finally finished reports and I can now start to unwind a little. That means I’ve also got time to blog and tell you what’s been going on in my simple- but expanding- garden.

So here's a quick garden update. I’ve been rather keen to do this. 
I’ll show you why…

My fairy garden is now a little village. Again, I didn’t see this coming. I arrived home one day and there it was. Almost everything has been upcycled from something which was lying around the garden or found in the shed. Yes, even the dog!  Santa and the roof of his house were frugal buys from the el cheapo shop.  

Meanwhile the vegies are taking off.  Once again, I find it thrilling to see plants bearing “fruit”. And, well, yes, I have been getting a helping hand from someone who spent ten years of his early adult life raising crops on his family land. I think he's naturally drawn to be out there in the garden. He works away morning and night (daylight savings), bringing a beautiful rhythm to our new routine.

 One of the biggest surprises was to see the grape vine bearing fruit.  Now we just have to stop the birds from taking a liking to it. Hmmmm…

A lot of other seeds are just starting to sprout. Hopefully they’ll grow well. Summer can have drastic effects on even the strongest plants. Mr S is keen to try and see what happens so a number of plantings are experiments.

Guess where this plant below was sourced.....
In the gutter. 
Mr S was checking a leak up on the roof when he noticed the plant growing in the actual gutter. It obviously had been getting enough nutrients.

Now that work has almost finished for the year I'm hoping to get back into a regular routine with the blogging. I'm looking forward to it.