Inspiration and other random thoughts

Lately my partner and I have been watching the current series of The Biggest Loser. It's not something I usually watch. I do like some reality shows but I find many of them are too focussed on setting people against each other and far too many segments are contrived.
If I watch a TV show about houses I want to be inspired and entertained. I actually want to see the joy and anguish of struggling to build a home on a limited budget. I want to get inspiration for creating a home in a particular style. I do not want to find entertainment in watching a couple bicker with each other or with another couple.
So, I was pleasantly surprised last week when one of the TBL contestants won a bonus $5000 and had to gift it to someone from another team. A condition of accepting the gift was that you had to leave the competition. Of course there were conditions attached and most likely there was an ulterior motive behind the final decision.
Well, you can imagine how inspired I was to hear the winning contestant offer the cash to contestant no. 2 because the latter was a mum who was finding it hard to be away from her young children for so long and whose family could really benefit from a financial boost.
I stopped what I was doing when I heard this going to air. I actually waited for the sting in the tail, for the nastiness. 
How often do we hear people on TV doing something just because it could help someone? How often do those reality shows allow people to choose kindness when the premise of the program is about winning and losing? 
The next day I happened to be reading my book,  and I came across this passage in which the author proposes an alternative definition of success.
         SUCCESS is living a full and balanced life in partnership with others
         to create a joyful feeling of love, contribution, appreciation and abundance,
         despite how our endeavours may turn out.
                                                                           End The Struggle and Dance With Life
                                                                            Susan Jeffers
Ever the idealist, I love to think we could build a world that promotes teamwork. 

I wonder what would happen if we encouraged these reality contestants to work with each other, sharing ideas, helping each other out and giving them ample time to hone their skills and craftsmanship. 
Imagine a lifestyle program which focussed on skills, creativity and character-building...

Social Anxiety and Me This Week

Every day social anxiety is a part of my life. These days I'm fortunate enough that it does not overwhelm me. Well, not usually. More often than not I don't even notice its presence. I like to think it does not control me but as you'll see in the following example, that's not always the case. 

I didn't do menu planning this week so I went to the supermarket three times in a few days. I happened to see my neighbour who works on the cash registers.  I worried he might think I was weird for coming in more than once in a few days. Then I recalled that recently when I went to his cash register I had blushed, probably because I was in a hurry that day and feeling guilty for not being more organised.
Now, I really enjoy having the chance to chat with him as he is just about the only local person I know in this area who I do get to talk to. We do say hello to other neighbours but it's never more than passing small talk.

Yesterday, while having a typical SA moment of indecision as to whether I should go to his cash register or not, I plucked up the courage and focussed on being  in the "here and now".
I went to his cash register. Everything was OK.  We had a quick chat and I noted for a microsecond that I wasn't blushing and felt rather happy about that. The shopping was done and  I went on my way. 

The "here and now" strategy worked really well. "Here and now" was the mantra I learnt to use years ago when social anxiety was getting in the way of me being able to communicate with some of my colleagues. It was like a quick prompt when my mind was going off track.

As you can see in the example above, my mind can get distracted by a hundred trivial thoughts while I'm in the middle of even the simplest of interactions. 

In order to be focussed on the person I was talking to, I used to say to myself  "Right here and now" as a reminder to stop thinking about  what might have happened the week before or the year before and to stop worrying about what the other person might be thinking. Saying "here and now" signalled that I needed to get back on track i.e. get on with the very reason why I had come to see that person, right there and then. 

It's not something I mastered overnight but after practising for a couple of years, it got a lot easier.
It really helped on Tuesday when I wanted to be able to talk at that very moment and I didn't want social anxiety to stop me from having a friendly chat. 

Living Simply on Sundays

I’ve been trying hard to do a new recipe each week since these days Mr S tends to do most of the cooking and I want to  keep my  “skills” up to scratch.  Last Monday I tried a dried fruit slice. There was far too much fruit in the slice even though I had followed the instructions.

Mr S has got a vegie garden up and running but there’s still much to do. We could only do so much. We don’t have a ute and we were not willing to pay $40+ to have sleepers delivered 4 kilometres down the road, but fortunately for us my brother is coming over today to help us out. I planted 8 broccoli plants a few weeks ago but there are only three left. Mr S is having more luck with spring onions, carrots, peas, spinach and lettuce, planted in the bed above.

In a roundabout way I’m trying “live simply” at work as I declutter my many folders. I keep hundreds of worksheets. Many are filed, some are not. I finally had some time this week to tidy my desk but I decided to approach it a little differently. In the past I would keep everything. My idea now is to keep only one copy of each file, with a view to reducing as much of the paper as possible, working towards having a copy of most files on the computer. Even though it means throwing away lots of paper, I have to admit I can’t always find things because I have way too much.

Wow! Holidays are good. We had lovely weather today so I suggested we go for a walk around Newport Lakes and visit the Native Nursery. The lakes and parkland have been reclaimed from an old quarry. It was very pleasant until Mr S saw a snake and I quickly took a detour. Later on we saw a lizard trying to blend in with its surroundings. Mr S does not like snakes either so I think it will be a while before we head back there again.

Often my weekends are taken up with housework and schoolwork. I couldn’t help thinking how nice it is to be able to get out and enjoy life. Now that spring is here I hope we can do more of this: relaxing, getting out of the house, enjoying the local area, and doing it all simply. No cost or little cost (just an icecream today). No stress (except when there’s a sign of a snake). Easy on us, easy on the environment.

 Enjoy your Sunday!

Time Alone

A winter's day on Mt Macedon

This morning I had my chai latte. I sat in the car for ten minutes and just relaxed.
I relished those  few moments in the car park, while the shops were still empty and before I faced a stampede impending stampede of high school students.
I realised that I haven't had that time alone for a while. And I miss it. I need it. It's an essential part of my lifeblood.
I was so happy to get out in the garden on Sunday. I felt rejuvenated as I hacked away at the rose bushes in the full sunshine. It was very liberating after being cooped up inside for the last few months. It was, for me, time alone.
Mr S and I have a relatively quiet life at home, but evenso, I've learned over the years that I need complete time alone to refuel and replenish. Gardening on Sunday was just that. When I craft it's just that. I thought running might be that sort of time but when I pound the footpaths of my local neighbourhood I need every ounce of energy just to take the next step. There's no surplus energy for contemplating the meaning of life.
I had friends over for a lovely afternoon tea on Saturday afternoon. However, at the end of it all, I was ready for complete time alone.
Time alone helps me to handle life.  I remember being in the toilet when I was nine or ten years old and realising that all my good ideas happened at that time. A little weird, I know. It is understandable when I look back. In my talkative family there was not always space for an introvert to search deep and explore her innermost thoughts aloud.
I'm glad I know now that my introversion is an important part of who I am. It helps me to know why I can feel at odds with everyday life even when things are "OK".
I am currently working with a new class level and that means extra work. I don't like having my evenings and weekends taken up with lesson plans and corrections. It crowds my personal time and means there is less of a chance to have meaningful "me" time.

Keeping warm on a winter's day, spending time with friends.

I'm grateful for my chai this morning. I'm looking forward to more sunshine and more complete time alone!  Now that the sun is shining a little more around these parts, I will hopefully find it easier to get more of the "me" time.