Thursday 22 January 2015

Should I tear up my goal list?

I've been trying to get back to my blog schedule of talking about my goals mid-week. I was sure that with focus and commitment I could achieve what I set out to do but it looks like these holidays my plans are flying out the window. Perhaps I should tear up my goal list?
Just over a week ago I hurt my back and all my holiday activities were curtailed. I couldn't do much at all so that included no running, which was one of my top goals. I couldn't write and I couldn't work at my laptop for more than a few minutes. I could surf the internet and I could watch television but I've even tired of those activities.
It makes me wonder about making plans and trying to determine how our lives will be. I've had so many good intentions these holidays, many of which have not eventuated. I had hoped to visit old friends but one didn't reply and the other had to postpone till autumn. I've called friends to catch up on the phone but no one is home! I had hoped to blog regularly but Mr S and I were devoting a lot of time to job-hunting. 
Surprisingly I've been positive while finding myself beached on the couch. Health issues flare up every now and then for me and I've had to resign myself over the years to surrender and give in to the need to rest completely, after many years of ignoring what my body was saying. Back then, when I did start staying at home longer to recuperate, because I had no choice,  I used to get upset the first couple of days realising that I couldn't do what I set out to do for that week. I hadn't realised how tightly I had tied my self-worth into "work" and "achieving" or getting things done. So, it was interesting to see with this current injury I accepted very quickly that I would rest completely even though nothing would get ticked off my "to do" list. 
Yes, it does help that it's holidays and I've got support at home which I didn't have in the past. It's also given me plenty of time to see that while my prescribed goals are not getting ticked off the list, the world keeps turning and I keep learning and moving ahead.


  • Each day, I've noted improvements with my back and celebrated small achievements. I was very excited when I realised I could walk again. The first day I was able to walk, I went with a smile on my face each time I took off, taking a few tottery steps here and there. Yesterday was exciting because I managed to sit at the table and do an email for the first time in a week.
  • Mr S landed a job half an hour after I hurt my back. 
  • Resting on the couch, for the umpteenth hour, I looked across to my precious bookshelf and realised that I'm ready to cut down the number of books on those shelves. That's one area I thought I'd never ever tamper with and yet, that moment has arrived.
  • I caught another glimpse of the beauty of life from my couch one early morning when I woke and saw Mr S studying hard at the dining room table so that one day he can take a course to better himself. I was filled with admiration. 
  • This experience has reinforced the challenge of embracing life as it is now. It's shown me that there are still highlights to be had.  One thing I've looked forward to in the last few days is a walk outside amongst the vegies. Sometimes I'm too busy to get out there and look properly but this week I've enjoyed my little wander and I've been able to take the time to notice what is happening in each area.


I can't help wondering what the point is in heavily scheduling memories when life has its own way of delivering what we need. Why don't we let life unfold  naturally? 
There seem to be gentle reminders that life does this anyway, no matter how much I try to herd it into my carrel of "The Perfect Life".   
I often hear people say they want to create memories by going to a certain place at a certain time. What happens to those people if they have a lovely moment with their son or daughter at the kitchen sink while doing the dishes? What happens if the kids have a barrel of fun running under the sprinkler in the backyard on a hot, summer's day? Is life only remarkable if we can plan for it and photograph it?

What does this mean for me? 
I guess it's another question to ponder. I know my goals and my list for each day are very important to me. I love returning from holidays and being able to share with people what I've done. I love celebrating all the projects I've completed. 
These holidays have certainly presented me with another way to live,and very little of that was on my goal list!!  What am I going to say when I head back to work next week?

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